On a wing and a prayer.

Hammy is blogging about the end of the world thanks to climate change and Tezza is blogging about seal clubbing so I thought i'd blog about something equally serious - my friend Wing.

Wing is a singing superstar in Noo Zulland and increasingly overseas as well. I first heard about her a couple of years ago when my fabulous mate nic who is an all-singing all-dancing drama gal told me about hearing her at some of the all-comers concerts that the musical community holds.

At this point in time international attention had not yet been focussed on her and she was working away, financing her own CD recording and production. Little did she know that, in the vein of a predecessor of hers, Florence Foster Jenkins, her perseverance would pay off tenfold with singing immortality.

I urge you to visit her site and sample her free music downloads - 'My favourite things' from her early album 'The sound of music and the prayer - performed by Wing' is one my favourite things.

Ladies and Gentlemen - I give you Wing!

GBFSB - Hanoi Uno

Please check The Tortoise and The Hare for first day update.

Come to think of it, check the same link for day 2 also. :-D

GBFSB

Bonsai Kitten gets Tobyfied!

You've got to love animal cruelty hoax sites. The latest, save toby, is bloody funny in that sort of sick and twisted way that we've all come to know and expect from the internet.

More so because it highlights just what hyppocritical little beggars we all are - most people would happily pay through the nose to have a rabbit meal in a restaurant but the second you see a cute one being ransomed on a website (I love the recipes which include '1x Toby') people go through the roof! This reminds me of the 'vegetarians' who will eat a type of meat UNLESS it resembles the animal it came from. Cute and fluffy = 'bad' but nicely packaged on a plate = fine. I know someone who will happily eat a burger from Maccas or somewhere equally evil but eschews meat in any other form....WTF?!! I'm sorry - but in my book that makes the transition from being principled to spineless - if you're not going to eat meat then it has to be in any form - otherwise, you're just salving your conscience.

Don't get me wrong - I am not on some moral high horse here - I eat meat and dead animals with the best of them - although if I had some more willpower and less of a fondness for meat I might not because i'm not really keen on the whole eating other beings thing...but I have enough trouble making a meal for myself in the evenings, let alone making one sans meat so it's always fallen into the 'to do one day...maybe' basket.

For those dedicated web procrastinators among us, Save Toby brings back fond memories of Bonsai Kitten - a vintage site that is sick yet oh so funny.

It also reminds me of Michael Moore's comment about his first film - Roger and Me. He commented some time afterwards that the inclusion of the infamous 'Pets or Meat' bunny skinning sequence, attracted more negative feedback than any other aspect of the film, which, judging by the response to toby's plight, sounds about right.

And, in case anyone really is falling for Save Toby's premise - visit here, to reassure yourself and chill out. The Age was getting itself worked up about it today - you would have hoped they might do just the tiniest but of web research to check it out first.

As a young Vietnamese acquaintance said in a recent email to me - 'Peace out'.

Beautiful big square. Hard endudring!

Beautiful big square. Hard endudring!
Originally uploaded by wonder geek.

I have long been a fan of sites such as www.engrish.com - so i was surprised to realise that i had missed a lovely example that was right under my nose.

When in Thailand recently, I bought a Thai plug for my laptop. I ended up using part of the packaging as a bookmark and, when it fell on my head last night while reading (i generally know it's time to go to sleep when the whole book falls on my head - the bookmark is a less painful pre-warning system), I looked at it and my evening was brightened up no end.

'SOAV' brand tells you that 'This product be applicable the home appliances'. What's more, it is 'Beautiful big square. Hard endudring' with Usage conveni ence'. What more could a girl ask for?!

Another one bites the Vietnam... ??

OK, GBFSB signing out from America. Next message from the land of bicycles and conical hat (preferably together).

In just a few days we will be on a search for Dalat (no other cyclo will do). If I can figure out how to attach pictures I'll post a few choice shots throughout the trip.

Big hugs everyone. And don't forget to check the Tortoise and the Hare blog (see link to the right under "mates and acquaintances").

Lots of Love
GBSFB

Strike one for academics vs. bureaucracy!

As an occasional staff member and general lackey at my university I am on the staff mailing list for the school - which specialises in communication.

It was thus a little perplexing when all staff recieved this email this morning:
______________________________________

"Good Morning all,

To assist Property Services in the management and use of both Reverse
Osmosis or Deionised Water, could you please give me an indication of
your current and future use of these products.

We will rely on your responses to assist us with the future management
of these services and I would appreciate it if you could supply me with
this information by COB Friday 1 April 2005.

Thanks for your assistance in this matter."

_________________________________________

I had to do my damndest to bite my tongue and not fire off a smart ass reply to everyone - but thankfully someone much higher up did it for me:
__________________________________________

"Reverse osmosis is a preferred pedagogical method of mine. I learn from
my students, and I would be against any university attempt to minimise
its use in classes.

The increase in reverse osmosis has also been one of underlying reasons
for the increased colocation of cognate disciplines - I don't know how
the university can contradict its own strategic directions.

As for deionisation: It can only lead to teaching staff wearing more
crinkled shirts, and in such a competitive environment as tertiary
education, we need every bit of competitive advantage we have - any
potential increase in crinkled shirts is a pressing matter. Ionise,
ionise, ionise, I say."

____________________________________________

Sometimes I love academics :-)

The house inspection (wo)man cometh.

My approach to the topic of tidiness in the years following my metamorphosis from a teenaged slug to a semi-adult baboon could perhaps be summed up in the phrase 'messy but hygienic'. There might be crap throughout the house, office etc but the desk and carpet under it will be more or less clean. This has worked well for me thus far and I have even managed to find myself a partner who seems to operate on a similar basis give or take the odd 'right, clean up your shit, i can't find the dog'-type comment when it all gets a bit too much.

My desk at university is the same - technically there are 3 people in my office, but in their regular absences my stuff seems to creep (run?) for freedom to desks where they won't be suffocated by piles of other important but unreachable stuff. Not a good look I know but my junk takes on a life of its own and things just seem to spread out despite my best intentions (no doubt much to the annoyance of my office mates!).

My brother, on the other hand, is a neat freak. When I was 17 I went travelling with him to Europe via Argentina. Unfortunately this involved us sharing a hotel room - sort of like putting Barney from the Simpsons in the same room as Marge (or Joey from Friends in with Monica - funny how it's always the guys that are messy in those stories). But I digress. The short version was that after about 24 hours in Argentina (our first stop on the trip), when I had spread out in my usual fashion, my brother literally drew a dividing line down the middle of the hotel room. He strictly enforced this for the rest of the trip, much to my amusement - I couldn't see why he had a problem with my underwear, books, clothing, CDs, toiletries etc invading his space but clearly there were some unresolved issues that I wasn't going to push too far given that he was paying for the hotel room.

Which brings me to my current dilemma - the house inspection this afternoon. We live in a fabulous rental place in the not too dodgy side of town, but I suspect that the rental agent will not take my word for it that the house is clean - give or take the mountains of shit liberally sprinkled everywhere. So last night and parts of the preceeding week have been spent relocating our crap. I always thought it was a humorous exaggeration when you saw people putting things under the carpet in films but there is now a suspicious 'pile of misc clothes-shaped-lump' under my duvet (and no, dammit, I will NOT say 'doona', no matter how long I live in Oztrailer!).

The house is, as always, hygienic - but I'm just hoping that the agent has at least a smidgeon of my tolerance for mess....

Word of the day.

Just used the word schadenfreude in a reply to a comment from my charming nemesis Jo.

I am sure I have provided a definition for this fabulous word before but I really feel like it is something that does not get enough publicity. Who else but the inventors of sauerkraut could come up with such a marvellous expression to encapsulate so much?!

Just as the Eskimos have given us 256,324,674 words for snow (approximately), the Germans gave us "a malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of others", how cool is that?!

Kudos my man!

If I could pick someone to burn down part of my old school it would be this dude. Funny how dreams come true eh?

Even weirder, the dude was in the care of an organisation I used to work for - and I used to work with his support worker!

I LOVE NOO ZULLAND!

Sigh, feeling a little homesick. - This is essential viewing for any Kiwi away from home - and anyone else who might be curious about why we love the land of the long white cloud.

And the moral of the story is...

As a wannabe academic (similar to the wannabe gayboy number that Tezza the pink fonted man is doing over at Project Maya - minus the sense of style), I have a more than passing acquaintance with commas and semicolons. At times it is tedious, nay, even dull, to be so hung up on such small things but this more than demonstrates the importance of spellchecking.

Let this be a lesson to you the next time you think 'she'll be right'.

Why bother?

Walking up from the train station this morning I was unfortunate enough to overhear this complete waste of space and energy. It was one of those inane bollocks 'can't stop because i'm so damn important and busy' conversations so it went like this [verbatim minus stage directions]:

Scene 1: A man and woman cross paths walking in opposite directions.

Woman [walking full speed past man]: 'Hi!'

Man [walking full speed past woman]: 'Hi'

Woman: 'How are you?'

Man: 'Good'

Woman: 'Good'

Man: 'And you?'

Woman: 'Good'

Man: 'Good'.

Man and woman exit stage right and left at full speed.

How NOT to do sponsorship.

In a former life I was a greasy PR consultant. But I'm pretty sure it takes only a basic knowledge of PR to know that this is not a good idea.

I can see the conversation:

Exxon man: "OK so we fucked up the environment good a few years ago but that was a long time ago and everyone has forgotten about it. So how can we promote our new corporate social responsibility?"

Thick-as-pigshit-sponsorship manager: "I know! How about we sponsor something cute and fuzzy that will help people to forget about it and brand it Exxon?"

Exxon man: "That is GENIUS! But I have one better, how about we make the name REALLY clear?"

With no further ado ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Healesville Sanctuary 'Exxon Chemical Rehabilitation Aviary'. No shit.

For my next trick...

Soooooooooo.... [stretches and cracks knuckles].

After the great Tourettes Man comments war of '05 what do you think I should blog about now? Funny how the pickled babies comment didn't get a rise from anyone but tourettes man did (regardless of whether he really is Mr Tourettes or Mr Something Equally Unfortunate But Quite Different Altogether). Maybe I'll ask him when I next seem him to settle it for once and for all.

Have been thinking for a while about changing the general theme of this blog actually. Public transport has been fun for the last year ['and oh what a year' - looks wistfully back while flicking through mental photo album] but not so many things strike me as odd as they used to. Am I turning into a hardened metropolitan commuter? Am I becoming blind to the quirkiness and wonder that is around me? Am I running out of ways to describe a train ride?....perhaps there is a little bit of truth in all of it.

So, for lack of a more imaginative brain, after the 2nd Nam tour of duty that Flash and GBFSB will be undertaking in just a few weeks I hereby declare this a 'GENERAL RANT BLOG'. From then on it wil be no holds barred! no excuses given! no spelling checks made hot and heavy blog on blog action! There will still be the odd bit of PT commentary for old times sake but this will be all new and even more nerdy!

You have been warned!

I have a clone!

Mwoah hah hah! Soon our evil plan to take over the world will be complete...

good likeness eh?

Feeling guilty.

I saw my old friend Mr Tourettes Man today. According to this blog I haven't seen him since May 31 last year when he and I used to share a tram line.

Mr Tourettes, who I am now convinced is actually Mr Schizophrenia or similar, was not having a good day. I heard him about 3 blocks away as I walked up Swanston Street. He was standing on my side of the street in his suit, facing the traffic but not focussing on anyone in particular and going off his nut at someone that I couldn't see. As always, his motions were very slow and controlled - I'm sure he's not a danger to anyone.

You could see the first year uni students who have recently moved from the country to the big smoke crossing to the other side of the road to avoid him and I felt very sorry for him - and more than a little guilty for not talking to him to see if I could snap him out of wherever he was or direct him to somewhere where he was less likely to get arrested...but apathy and a meeting appointment were the winners on the day - and I feel like a heartless rat.

Small town flashback twilight zone

I have lived in Malburne, Oztrailer for over a year now. During this time I have randomly met 2 people from Noo Zulland that I know.

"So?" I hear you say?

Well, I have met these 2 people in the last 4 weeks....at my home stop on my train line...and they're from my high school.

This is not impressive until you take into account that my home town in Noo Zulland had a population of 12,000 people and 28 chickens at the time I lived there, and my school had a total enrollment of 800. The school had years 8-12 in it, of which I knew maybe 50% of about 2 years - not many in other words.

Anyway, this is probably only weird for me. But today's encounter with random NZ chick was truly surreal. We're standing on the packed train after getting on at my stop. We stare at each other blankly for a while as commuters do before we realise we're actually staring at each other. We do the funny eyebrow scrunching mutual recognition thing before I say 'Are you from Cambridge?". Turns out this chick was in the year above me at school.

I'm pretty sure neither of us could remember each other's name but we did the obligatory stuck-on-a-train-making-smalltalk-with-someone-from-your-childhood-until-you-can-get-off thing, which covered the standard topics - my answers to her questions were:

Yes, I live here
I've been here for over a year
I am a post-grad student/lecturer
I live in Flemington
No, I don't miss Cambridge.

In return, I asked her if she lived here, how long she'd been here, what she was doing and where she lived.

Small-talk obligations fulfilled, I asked if she'd been back to our home town recently - she'd been back for xmas. I asked if she found it weird being back there, going to the town's skanky old pub etc - she said 'not really' and commented that all the people we'd gone to school with just got 'taller and hairier' as time went by.

Luckily at this point it was time for me to get off - in fact I might have considered getting off even if it wasn't my stop.

A little extra decoration to help you sleep at night.

A little extra decoration to help you sleep at night
Originally uploaded by wonder geek.

The charming centre tile between the two beds in my Ho Chi Minh City hotel room :-)

Will work for bulk bananas

Will work for bulk bananas
Originally uploaded by wonder geek.

The privilege of catching a lift on one of these incredible animals does come at a price - as many bananas as you can supply.

Once they've got the taste for them their amazingly flexible trunks snake out and relieve you of your banana stash...or if you're brave enough you can deliver them straight to the mouth!

Mad Hatter comes to the photo blogging party a leetle late.

Errrrrr, ok, have just figured out how to post up gratuitous piccys. Have not yet figured out how to put them into old postings (suggestions team?) so you will have to play 'match the random pic to the equally random blog' until i get up to speed. Enjoy!

Introducing a newbie blogger

I've never blogged before. I'm afraid to go out and blog alone. The MadHatter (my younger sibling) has invited me to add this "tramspotting" blog, until I loose my blogging cherry and become wise in the ways of the blog.

Soon, a friend and I will also be travelling to Vietnam (we're not very orginal in my family ;-). My friend has his own blog... I'm so ashamed. In a future installment I'll make you a link to it, if he lets me. We'll be going to both Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City. You might expect to hear more about cyclo Dalat when I get to HCMC. Until then...

GBFSB