That'll learn you!

Rush-hour tram on my way to check out a possible place to rent (on a different tram line from my usual - que horror!). Temperature: approx 8 degrees - feels colder. We stop at a set of traffic lights in town, where a tram employee is doing something official (not sure what) by the side of the tram. The tram bloke, who looks like a nicer version of John Howard, complete with silly hat (doubt that Johnny's have tram company logos on them but you never know...), starts chatting to the driver through the tram door, complaining about the weather.

A mid-20s woman onboard calls out to tram bloke, asking if he remembers her. Apparently she went to school with his daughter. Seems like he doesn't remember her but he happily updates her (and the rest of the tram) about what his daughter is up to - 'finished uni, working in x place, dog, cat, 2.5 kids etc' - finishes on a beautiful note, laughing as he says, "I wish i'd gone to uni now so that I'm not stuck by a tramstop on a freezing night age 56".

Light turns green and we move off,

We all have regrets.

Nice one

8.30pm tram from the city. Just as we're passing the hospital, a young woman wearing a pharmacist's jacket (shirt?) gets off - handing her (what I would assume was 2-hour long) tram ticket to the pleasantly surprised young asian man getting on.

'Innocence TM'

On a major intersection on my tram line there has been, for the last month or so, a large billboard advertising 'Shelly Innocence' and her website. I generally don't pay a lot of attention to billboards but this one stuck out for its spectacular cheesyness and the fact that it had a picture of its covergirl sitting in a field of flowers with the beautifuly obtuse line 'Trust - only believe' on it. It also had a link to the website - www.shellyinnocence.com . For weeks I would idly look at it and wonder if perhaps it was advertising a self-improvement seminar or self-help tapes 'a la Anthony Robbins' or something equivalent.

Turns out its much funnier - 'Shelly' (who, if I had looked closely, I would have realised is not quite all she appears to be) is marketing the real deal - Happiness TM, Trust TM, Risk TM, Truth TM and Innocence TM among others. Unfortunately, Committment TM, Joy TM and some other exciting products have been discontinued, so I had to make do with purchasing Integrity TM (strapline: 'It's not for everyone') instead. Got it on special!

Thoroughly recommend Shelly's products to anyone who is in need of a pick me up.

For every action...

There is a lovely (Indian?) tram driver who often works on my route. Middle-aged, with bushy 70s-style sideburns that remind me of a teacher I had in high school, he seems to take real pride in his profession. Whenever he is driving on my route he is always announcing every stop, making sure that old ladies have enough time to sit down properly before moving off etc.

Today he got on at the tram depot which is about halfway down my line, as a passenger, presumably having finished a shift on another route. He bounced on board, shaking hands with the driver and making jokes. He then spied Tourettes Man (who I was sitting opposite from).

I suspect that most routes have a sort of 'mascot' passenger that the drivers keep an eye on and make sure that they are ok because the driver was exceptionally pleased to see him and shook hands with him before sitting down next to him. He then listened patiently as Tourettes Man enthusiastically lectured him on the finer points of every single budget buffet restaurant in town - providing a sort of cost/benefits analysis, in combination with a laborious but thorough description of every food item offered.

The off-duty tram driver listened, enraptured, helping out every now and then when Tourettes Man got stuck listing food types, until he had to get off to catch his connection, when he shook hands with Tourettes Man and bade him farewell. By choosing to use his tram journey in this manner, the driver had consierably brightened up Tourettes Man's day, and calmed him down a fair bit (he was getting pretty agitated by the time the driver got on) as well. Nice one.

Walking the block from the tram to university, however, I saw a very 'American Beauty'-type scene. Two slightly deflated heart-shaped helium balloons with 'I love you' written on them were fluttering in the wind...attached by long strings to a pretty solid and unromantic-looking municipal rubbish bin. Whoever said that pictures speak a thousand words was on to it - just wish I had a camera with me.